Pet of the Year 2021 — Kenzie Anne

You want to take a guess as to the first thing anyone getting new employment with Penthouse wants to do? We can give you a hint (or not) by telling you that it happens to be the worst job in the company. … Scratch that. It’s actually the second worst job in the company, but we’ll get to that.

We will tell that before their new company computer has booted up for the first time, everybody has the same question as a new employee: “How do we pick the Pets?”

Depending upon the moxie of the individual, the second question either follows quickly, or as soon as reasonably possible in a more discrete fashion in the break room. “How do I get on the Team that picks the Pets?”

Yep. Everybody wants to pick the Pets. … Sounds like a great job. … It is not. It is a horrible, horrible job.

You have to think about it from a broader (pun not intended, but still funny, if you’re old) perspective. It will come as no surprise that many, many women around the world would love to be Pets. Because you have to be a Pet before you can become Pet of the Year 2021, for example. But even the most rudimentary of educations would lead you to quickly realize that there can at most be 12 Pets in any calendar year. Obviously this means that while making one woman very happy, you will necessarily be disappointing an abundantly larger group of women — every month. Month after month. For an entire year. Eventually, though, we do end up with a truly emotional and grateful individual, such as Kenzie Anne here.