Usually, I don’t write anything when I show my pictures, but I felt the urge to share with all of you how I felt during this photo shoot and after I saw the final results. Everybody knows that I was a classical ballet dancer for more than 18 years. I was the student with the highest grades of the entire school, which suggested I had all the qualities to become the perfect dancer.
Nevertheless, ”all the qualities” became “almost all” when at my 13 years old I weighed 125 pounds, which made me undergo bulimia for two years and anorexia for like seven years. When I remember about those days, I merely can’t understand what went through my head. The image that I used to see reflected on the mirror was more of a monster than of a young girl. I was in a state where nothing was more important to me than to “look good” and if that meant to be sick I wouldn’t care.
Never, with the exception of that experience, I felt less loved… no one has hated me more of what I have hated myself during those years. No one has detested me so much that wish to do as much damage to me as the one I did to myself by taking my body to the extreme, exaggerating the physical workout, not eating or drinking fluids for days, taking laxatives and punishing myself in any possible way.
Many years later and 100% recuperated I value more how I feel than how I look and these pictures reflect, in one way or another, my physical and mental state. I have accepted and love myself the way I am; I respect my body and take care of it like a temple. Rather than looking perfect, I value the fact that I can run or walk for an hour without getting exhausted or losing my breath. I value more the fact that my endurance has increased incredibly and that I have fulfilled successfully the physical challenges that I have set out. When I thought I couldn’t any more, I could…
One day I thought I was worthless. Today I am at pease with myself and I have learned that to feel loved and to be accepted is something that needs to start with yourself. You are only one step away from being in the best physical state of your life! What are you waiting for??